I've been having my first flare since my withdrawal 4 days ago, with my arms and legs having progressive itching, and the most severe was my face - it started to have cuts and blisters across my forehead and cheeks, and it was oozing constantly. Luckily it didn't ooze crazily so that I could still at the very least go to work and be "productive", but I could constantly smell it and it was just so unbearable. Honestly speaking, I don't know if I could continue going to work since starting the withdrawal. Every night I think tomorrow I might not be able to go to work - I just pray to God and ask that if He wants me to go to work, I'll go, if not, I'll just take it easy and take leave. I feel like I have no control over life at all, but God does.
These days my self esteem and confidence is dropping low - my face is constantly red like it's really sunburnt, and I'm just so worried how my colleagues would think. I'm so worried that they'll think I don't look "professional" enough and fire me, after all it is somewhat client facing where I work, but then it would probably be a relief if they did, since going to work every day is so hard for me - just waking up, and looking myself in the mirror is a great challenge itself, let alone managing my skin and getting ready to leave home. I ask God each day to give me strength to carry on and that people will accept me for who I am.
The only good news is that the cuts and blisters on my forehead and cheeks did start to heal - it hurt by the touch when it first started flaring up, but now it's just flaky and really red, so at least it doesn't feel as bad. My arms itched quite a lot last night, but luckily my scratching last night didn't leave too many deep wounds, just some cuts on the surface so they don't feel extremely bad. The lower part of my right above my ankle was oozing last night, but again luckily it wasn't oozing crazily so I just slapped on a few rounds of baby powder to soak it up and I was able to sleep. Same goes to my chin, which was oozing a bit and I just used a few rounds of baby powder before I was able to fall asleep. My sleep wasn't that good though, as I woke up in the middle of the night feeling pretty itchy, and it took me a while before I was able to fall asleep again.
I'm really struggling right now, if my condition gets any worse, I won't be able to go to work. Really, should I talk to my managers about taking a month of sick leave?
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